Is Starbucks the new “Cheers”?

Is Starbucks a Cheers for the 21st century
Remember the 80s TV show “Cheers”? It starred Ted Danson, Shelley Long (and later Kirstie Alley), Rhea Perlman, George Wendt, John Ratzenberger, Nicholas Colasanto (and later Woody Harrelson), Kelsey Grammer (who later spun off into the show Frasier) and Bebe Neuwrith. I watched the show all the time, even though folks at my church disapproved of its bar setting. The theme song said it all:

“Where Everybody Knows Your Name” (Cheers Lyrics)
by Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo
Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.

Wouldn’t you like to get away?
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
and they’re always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.

Now, I don’t frequent bars, so I can’t say whether they are or are not like the one depicted in Cheers or other TV shows or movies. The few I’ve been in looked more like the one in Sister Act unless they were part of a hotel or restaurant. But I believe Starbucks is the social equivalent of “Cheers” for the 21st century.

At what I lovingly call “The Chapel of the Bean”, everyone (at least the staff) knows the names and preferred drinks of regular patrons. Because I often spend several hours at my local establishment, I regularly interact with the staff (baristas rather than bartenders) on a level similar to what I remember Sam, Cliffie and Norm engaging in. Just like Norm, I’m often greeted by name when I walk in, and I say goodnight when I leave. We talk, joke, tease and laugh. Recently I even became “Facebook friends” with two of the gals from my Starbucks. One of them is a budding writer, so we often discuss stories, especially since I’m often there writing (or researching). Another one of them has shown interest in reading some short pieces I’ve given her. It’s a clean, safe environment to hang out after a long day at work.

Back when TV series was on, though, I remember questioning why *church* isn’t that for more people. It came to mind again when this comparison with Starbucks occurred to me. Church should be a clean, safe place to hang out, where everyone *should* know your name, *should* know what your needs/desires are, and *should* be serving you (and you should be their mirror in that). Why isn’t it so for more people?

One reason may be the “in & out” syndrome; I may slip into the pew either just as the service starts or even after and “escape” during the last song so I don’t have to talk to anyone. If “doing my duty” is all I am there for – to say I “went to church” – then no, it can’t function as the place “where everybody knows your name”. It probably doesn’t offer much in the way of a break from worries either, because I’m probably too worried about being seen going and not enough about seeking comfort from God or others.

Even if I come early and stick around to talk to others after church, it may be pretty superficial, just as the conversation at Starbucks is pretty superficial. If I am not getting involved in small groups, Sunday school or other social functions outside of the service because I might actually be asked to serve when I’m barely keeping my head above water in the rest of my life, I can’t get to know others nor can they get to know me.

I may have been more involved once but had some experience that changed my attitude toward church – a careless word, another’s failing to practice what they preach, a bad ministry experience, abuse, an environmental issue or something else. (I’ve experienced all of the above personally except abuse at church, and I’m certain I’ve been the source of similar behavior myself.) “Christians aren’t perfect…just forgiven,” as the bumper sticker advertises. A perfect person would have no need for a Savior. Everyone there has their spot on the spectrum from unsaved to saved to mature Christian, and even the latter may make mistakes or unintentionally hurt.

And yes, I’m speaking to myself as much as to any reader because while I am a committed Christian, I’ve been looking (rather haphazardly) for a new church because fragrances trigger my asthma; as a result I’ve sat in the crying room at my current church for more than five years, when I have attended there. I worry about attending *any* function because I never know when one of the ardent fragrance wearers (the ones who smell as though they marinated in it for an hour)will also attend. While this presents an honest medical issue, I admit my attitude through it all has rivaled Christ’s toward the moneychangers in the temple, without the true righteousness. So I know whereof I speak when I talk about not going to church because of what someone else says or does.

Why still go?

Well, first, God/the Bible says so. (Hebrews 10) No amount of obligatory attendance will develop significant relationships, however.

Second, while my mother was correct when she said, ‘You don’t have to go to church to be a Christian,” when I asked why she didn’t go, I struggle with behaving in a Christ-like manner even *with* regular attendance at both church and Bible Study, with personal study and the influence of Christian writers and musical artists. Imagine how badly I’d behave without all that Christian instruction?

We can make the Church – the body of Christ, not just the building – the “Cheers” (or Starbucks) in our lives by applying the same attitude and principles that made/make those places special: time spent there, sharing our lives with others, serving and allowing others to serve us and allowing the experiences there to bleed into other parts of our lives.

Hebrews 10:19-25
19 Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, 20 by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, 21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (NIV 2011)

Why I love “Dancing with the Stars”

I grew up a latch-key kid. I never knew whether my mom would be home or not when I came home from school. I don’t have a problem with that because it’s all I knew and because I grew up in a time when this wasn’t as dangerous as today.

I also grew up responsible for myself. I made my own breakfast – albeit cold cereal or toast – and got myself ready for school in the morning. I did my homework, if I had any, when I got home. I practiced my violin and later my viola. (The latter happened before mom got home partly because she couldn’t stand the sound of a beginning violin student.) Some kids are just like that, you know. Others require a lot more parental supervision. Not that I didn’t make my share of mistakes and endure their consequences, but I did okay. Sometimes I think that Jill was more put together than the adult Jill.

But what does that have to do with dancing? Well, on Saturdays, I often spent the entire day alone. I read a lot, but I also watched television, a LOT of television. I saw virtually every western, especially those starring Audie Murphy, Randolph Scott or John Wayne. I took in the screwball comedies of the 30s and 40s – The Thin Man series, Bringing Up Baby and The Philadelphia Story – and the movie musicals so prevalent in the 50s and 60s, including especially the Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers variety. We never had money for dance lessons, so Fred and Ginger taught me everything I knew, which wasn’t much without a willing partner or the space to move.

So when I first learned about DWTS, I checked it out. And I found the one reality show that never made me grumble under my breath, turn the TV off in frustration or quit watching the show for half the season. In fact, I found the one show that consistently put a smile on my face for an hour or more at a time. I saw people like me who really didn’t know how to dance learning from a professional partner and getting tips from people in the know. And they got to dress up in fantastic costumes and play parts and have fun – even if they were heavy set or older than everybody else.

Don’t even get me started on how patient Tom Bergeron is with people pinching his bum and what a fun (and not too biting) wit he is.

Do I always agree with the judges or who gets voted off? No way. Sometimes I stare at the screen in shock – Shannon Bryan and Brandy eliminations come to mind.

But on the whole, I just really enjoy that hour or two of television. And that’s a lot more than I can say about a lot of the other programming, especially of the “reality” variety.